\\buy my mistake//

Well, I haven't written in a while... again

I am so sorry for that!

Last week was October break. Everyone had a good time. Well most people. I had 5 wisdom teeth pulled. Yes, I said 5 wisdom teeth were pulled. I am healing fast. My cheeks are almost normal size again. My face still hurts time to time. Thank you for all your prayers!

I have had some tough times this past week with my priorities. God, school, friends. That's how it should be, but it wasn't. I am trying to keep it that way again. I finally got sleep again last night. I needed that sleep.

I may be going to Olean today. That will be fun; I haven't been there in quite a few weeks.

As far as everything else goes... Life's ok. I love you all and miss you too!

N0t Sure

not sure if anyone reads these... but I'll keep posting...
_

Beautiful Caterpillar

I jump out in front but you don’t stop

You’re just driving so fast,

Hit the breaks before you hit the kid playing in the street

You will be old before you know it.

Have children you don’t know what to do with.

(chorus)

I tell you stop,

I pull you back; make you stop to smell the flowers

To take a closer look at the caterpillar

It’s just as beautiful as the butterfly

Just doesn’t get as much credit.

It’s not how fast you can get to the best place

It’s about the simple things in life

You’re a big kid now

You have so many memories

All that time wasted, trying to grow up fast

Sneaking out with the older kids

What good did that do you? Now don’t you regret it?

(I didn’t think so, its part of growing up)

(chorus)

Why do you look at me?

(There’s a strange look in your eyes)

Why does it look like you’re in pain?

(I’m telling you, stop listening to what they say)

Why do you say you don’t love me as you squeeze my hand?

(My hand hurts so badly, but my heart hurts worse)

I’m perfectly content being a caterpillar,

I just wish you were you were here going through this with me!

Lyrics

Ok, I am going to post the lyrics I write on here... I love to write. I might as well show what I've done...
__

Water Vs. Oil

I really think this can work

If we try hard, harder than ever before

I’m feeling so down

When I’m so lonely

I see all my friends holding hands

All I want is someone to love

Chorus:

You tell me that

(We’re so different)

Water and oil trying to mix

(It just doesn’t work)

So you’d just be eating your soup with a fork

(And it falls right through)

I’m trying to breathe as I hold my breath

(As my face turns blue)

What makes you think this won’t work?

I’ve put everything I have into this

I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong

Am I trying to hard?

Why do I find myself screaming?

All I know is that

(Chorus)

Do you really hate me that much?

Or are these just my own emotions?

Am I over thinking this again?

I count the hours as they pass

As I stare at your eyes

On this Polaroid picture

(Chorus)

I hAvE dEcIdEd

I have decided that writing on my blog is the best way to let out my frustration... I will write more later!

??why

why do I feel like crap? ........................................................................................................ why do I want to hurt myself?

dloc os

When all is said and done
Will we still feel pain inside?
Will the scars go away with night?
Try to smile for the morning light
It's like the best dream to have
Where every thing is not so bad
Every tear is so alone
Like God himself is coming home to say

I, I can do anything
If you want me here
And I can fix any thing
If you let me near
Where are those secrets now
That you're too scared to tell
I'd whisper them all aloud
So you can hear yourself

Green trees were the first sign
The deepest blue, the clearest sky
The silence came with the brightest eyes
And turned water into wine
The children ran to see
The parents stood in disbelief
And those who knew braced for the ride
The earth itself then came alive to say

I, I can do anything
If you want me here
And I can fix anything
If you let me near
Where are those secrets now
That you're too scared to tell
I whisper them all aloud
So you can hear yourself

I'm sorry I have to say it but you look like you're sad
Your smile is gone; I've noticed it bad
The cure is if you let in just a little more love
I promise you this, a little's enough

(Just a little...)

How to make an Attention-Getting title

Wow, what a week...

So much has happened. A lot of heart ache and a lot of joy.
Yes, I'm single once again...
In the mean time I met some new really good friends that helped me through it. I want to thank Wil, Matt, Tim, Ben, Gina, and Karis for helping me get through all this stuff. I've gotten a lot closer to Gina and Karis through all this and kind of John too... in a weird way. lol

I am going to Church on Sunday, then I am going to Buffalo to see my Grandma. Please keep my Grandma and my mom in your prayers. Grandma is very sick.

Monday I have 2 mid-terms, which I think I can do well in. I have to sit my butt down and study study study! I am not going to do much today but study. After super I'm hoping to have some fun.

Wednesday night starts October break. I am going home and getting my wisdom teeth pulled, fun fun...

All in all college is good... It's looking up, I am doing good!!

simple Song 4 advanced Feelings

Two sides twist and then collide;
You're calling off the guards (Am I coming?)
I'm coming through. (Am I coming?)
Adulteress conditioned to a spin cycled submission,
You know, sometimes it just feels better to give in.
(Sometimes it just feels better to give in.)

And it's all too familiar
And it happens all the time.
All the cards begin to stack up,
Twisting heartache into fine
Little pieces that avoid an awful crime,
But it's you I can't deny.
(You I can't deny.)

Dull heat rises from the sheets.
I'm both a patient boy,
Well, and a jealous man. (Am I coming?)
But double standardized suspicion
Is remedied, oh, my blue heaven,
Sometimes it just feels better to give in.
(Sometimes it just feels better to give in.)

And it's all too familiar
And it happens all the time.
All the cards begin to stack up,
Twisting heartache into fine
Little pieces that avoid an awful crime,
But it's you I can't deny.
(You I can't deny.)

We swing and we sway
As this tiny voice in
My head starts to sing
"You're safe, child, you are safe."
("You're safe, child, you are safe.")
"You're safe, child, you are safe."

We swing and we sway
As this tiny voice in
My head starts to sing
"You're safe, child, you are safe."
"You're safe, child, you are.."

Safe (safe, safe)
You are (safe)

We swing and we sway
As this tiny voice in
My head starts to sing
"You're safe, child, you are safe." (Am I coming?)
"You're safe, child, you are safe." (Am I coming through?)

Is this all too familiar?
Does it happen all the time?
I'm just asking you to hear me.
Could you please, just once, just hear me?
More then anything you wanted to be right.
Still it's you, you, it's you I can't deny.
(You I can't deny.)
It's you I can't deny.

goodnight Mr. Emo

Last night was a really long tough night. JessLynn and I talked, and the possibilities of us breaking up were there. We are just to busy to see each other as much as we need! So last night, thank God, I stayed with my friends... Thank You all... Especially those willing to stay up until 7. I love you all! Here are some pictures of us trying to be happy!!

Killemall16

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now
Here he comes

He doesnt look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined
When you were young

Can we climb this mountain
I dont know
Higher now than ever before
I know we can make it if we take it slow
Let's take it easy
Easy now
Watch it go

We're burning down the highway skyline
On the back of a hurricane
That started turning
When you were young
When you were young

And sometimes you close your eyes
And see the place where you used to live
When you were young

They say the devil's water
It ain't so sweet
You dont have to drink right now
But you can dip your feet
Every once in a little while

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now
Here he comes

He doesnt look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined
When you were young
(talks like a gentleman)
(like you imagined)
When you were young

I said he doesnt look a thing like Jesus
He doesnt look a thing like Jesus
But more than you'll ever know

gnimocemoh

Ok, Matt, Wil, JessLynn, Hannah B, Hannah W, Laura, and I went to Rochester last night. It was awesome!!! We had a great time at the mall, then Taco Bell, then a few other fun places. We all slept in the basement of Wil's parents house, watched Ocean's 11, then went to sleep. We got up this morning, at out at breakfast and got back to the dorms at about 1:00-1:20-ish. Some of us hung out, goofed around until 7:00...

6:30: Get Ready for Banquet.
6:45: Matt, Wil, and I go get the girls from Gillette Hall.
7:00: Banquet (Very Very Yummy Meal).
There was a Shakespeare play while we ate dinner, it was done very nicely.
9:30: Concert at Chapel
10:00: SPOT, OMG... Spot was soooo funny. I liked all of the presentations except one. So it's a pretty good ratio.
1:00: Watched Saw II ... very good movie...
3:00: Typing this blog
3:30: Go to bed
8:30: Wake up for church!

Crappy Rochester

Today was a pretty crappy day... going to Rochester and spending the night at Will's house. I hope it goes MUCH better!!! Homecomings tomorrow I'm pretty excited for that!!

Hopefully this will make your day: (Stupid Edel O_o)

...attention is good...

So-sorrY

Sorry for taking so long to write a new blog... I don't even know how many people read this. But, if no one else it lets my feelings out...


I wasn't at college this weekend. Saturday I went to Corning to see my Brother-in-law and Sister, slept over at my house, then went to church, hung out at home watched the Bills game (Which we won by-the-way). I then went to Word of Life. I am now a teen leader. I am so excited to be close to God again. Thank you all for all the prays. I defiantly feel it and appreciate it!!

I miss all my friends I had before college, however. You all are still in my prayers and I still think of you. You guys need to visit me sometime... seriously!!

I love you all and God Bless!! ~ Me